I’ve been trying to write a post about potty training for a really long time. This is probably one of those entries that I had a hard time getting together, because on one hand, it’s a topic that could be summarized in only a few sentences, but on the other, each of these sentences would then require some words of explanation.
This post is about potty training, that is, saying goodbye to diapers. Natural Infant Hygiene is something completely different and it is not what we are talking about today. 😊
FROM THIS ENTRY, YOU WILL LEARN:
- How to recognize a baby’s readiness to say goodbye to diapers?
- When does the readiness for potty training appear?
- Why should a parent also be ready for this?
- When is the best time to start potty training?
As potty training is often a topic of really heated family discussions and can lead to intergenerational clashes (I know something about that too 😉), I think the most important thing is to answer the question of what it really is and realize that the approach to this subject has changed tremendously over the past decades.
Perhaps you are lucky if the topic of potty training doesn’t arouse too much emotion among your relatives, but believe me – many parents who want to begin this process with their kids already know more than one story about how other children started to successfully use a potty as soon as they learned to sit on their own.
Yes, our mothers or grandmothers were probably starting potty training with their children much earlier than we do now, but it’s worth considering two important points here:
- Firstly, in the past, children were wearing tetra diapers (I still remember when my older brother had his first child about 30 years ago, diapers were drying EVERYWHERE 😉), and as you know, a tetra diaper doesn’t provide the feeling of dryness and it has to be washed and dried over and over again. In such “conditions”, both the parent’s motivation to get rid of diapers and the child’s comfort were completely different to what we experience in the era of reusable diapers.
- Secondly, potty training very often was nothing more than seating children down on the potty at certain times of the day, regardless of whether they signaled their physiological needs or not.
Nowadays, potty training is more related to recognizing the baby’s readiness for using a potty. It doesn’t involve teaching the child to poop or pee, because that’s something the little one can already do, but it’s about showing them WHERE to do it. 😊
This is an important change in approach, as we are now aware that seating a child on the potty for long periods of time can have negative consequences. It challenges the pelvic floor muscles and can cause the baby to try to pee or poop by force. This, in turn, can result in habitual constipation or urinary incontinence in the future.
So, can we blame our parents or grandparents for making us sit on the potty until we did what we were supposed to? Of course not – they didn’t do it to harm us in any way. However, when we know that this is not the best way to go, then even despite the pressure we may sometimes feel, it is worth sticking to our own beliefs.
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF A CHILD’S READINESS FOR POTTY TRAINING AND WHEN MIGHT THEY APPEAR?
There are many indications of the baby’s readiness for potty training. They can appear between 4th and 36th month of life, although most often we can notice them around 18th month. Here are the signs that are easiest to spot:
- the baby can sit and walk stably,
- he or she knows the scheme of their body – can show where the head, hands, legs or bottom are…
- the baby begins to signal their needs – for example, shows that they want to drink, grab their diaper when they want to pee, hide when they poop – this indicates a growing awareness of their own body and the processes that take place within it,
- he or she shows that the diaper is full,
- the child is curious about the potty and taking care of physiological needs, so he or she is eager to peek at what you are doing as well 😉,
- they understand when you ask them about the potty, pee or poop,
- their diaper remains dry for longer and longer periods of time – this indicates the growing capacity of the bladder.
WHAT ABOUT THE READINESS OF A PARENT?
Contrary to what we may think, this is a very important topic. There is no denying that potty training can sometimes be overwhelming. Sometimes the baby learns it really quickly, but there are also situations when it takes many weeks and involves constant changes of underwear, washing clothes and cleaning. That’s why, I think it’s good to answer the question of whether you as well are in the right head space to do it now.
For example, in order to do it, I need a few days or so of peace and quiet – a stream of regular days with no scheduled trips or visits. Days where I can focus on it and nothing distracts or upsets me.
If a parent isn’t ready and does it under pressure, frustration could creep in very quickly.
WHEN IS THE BEST TIME TO START?
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you start the potty training adventure around the age of 2, when the child shows signs of being ready for it.
It is very important to do this without stress or pressure – for the child, but also for you! The fact that the baby of your aunt’s neighbor’s cousin did it right after his first birthday (or even before it 😉) doesn’t prove anything.
The child has until their fourth birthday to say goodbye to diapers during the day. It may take a little longer to let go of the diaper for the nighttime.
WHAT ARE MY EXPERIENCES AND HAVE I ALREADY STARTED POTTY TRAINING WITH MY YOUNGEST SON?
What can I say? My experiences are quite rich in this regard. 😉 We went through a speedy potty training when one of my children said goodbye to diapers practically overnight, but we also went through a bit longer process of doing it with my other baby… We also struggled with bedwetting… There is a lot to talk about, so I will do it in a separate post soon.
When are we taking off with my son’s potty training?
I think this summer will be ours. 😉
Why don’t I stress about it? I am aware that if my child is not yet 100% ready for potty training, it could take a really long time and be overwhelming for both me and him. I, for one, am not ready for it at the moment as well. I’m setting it aside until this summer season because I know it will probably go much more smoothly then. 😊
- In one of the upcoming posts, I’ll tell you about our preparations for saying goodbye to diapers and what it looked like in practice. 😊
- I’m curious about your experiences! Share them in the comments!
The content herein is for informational purposes only and will not replace a visit to a physiotherapist or other specialist. If in doubt, please consult with a professional who can examine your baby in person. For the sake of your baby, I do not provide online advice.
For great ideas for spending time and playing with your baby, check out my E-book:
Sources:
- Ann C. Stadtler, Peter A. Gorski, T. Berry Brazelton; Toilet Training Methods, Clinical Interventions, and Recommendations. Pediatrics June 1999; 103 (Supplement_3): 1359–1361. 10.1542/peds.103.S3.1359.
- Blum NJ, Taubman B, Nemeth N. Relationship between age at initiation of toilet training and duration of training: a prospective study. Pediatrics. 2003 Apr;111(4 Pt 1):810-4. doi: 10.1542/peds.111.4.810. PMID: 12671117.
- Kaerts N, Van Hal G, Vermandel A, Wyndaele JJ. Readiness signs used to define the proper moment to start toilet training: a review of the literature. Neurourol Urodyn. 2012 Apr;31(4):437-40. doi: 10.1002/nau.21211. Epub 2012 Mar 6. PMID: 22396334.
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