Christmas is literally just around the corner. Just a few more days until you will sit at the Christmas dinner, meet with your loved ones… No doubt it will be a really special time.
But did you know that the holiday season can be quite a challenge for your baby? Below, I’ll tell you what to pay attention to in order to enjoy this time with more peace of mind.
CHRISTMAS = TOO MUCH STIMULI?
You may not think about it on a daily basis but, during the holiday season, each of us is exposed to a really large amount of stimuli. So much is going on, after all! Our homes are beautifully decorated, the Christmas tree is sparkling with lights, the smells of Christmas food are in the air… There are visitors: you can hear their laughter, the sound of their conversations, and the melodies of carols in the background…
It’s undoubtedly a very special time of the year. But for a newborn, such amount of stimuli can be really overwhelming.
Why?
During the Christmas season, both we and our children, more than usual, are exposed to a kind of… stress. But it is a little different from the stress we often deal with in our daily duties or work.
A stressor, according to the definition by Walter Bradford Cannon, is anything that disrupts homeostasis, or the body’s internal balance. It is necessary for us to cope with the challenges that await us – it is crucial for survival and maintaining the overall well-being of our body.
In that sense, a stressor can be, for example: noise, a large amount of visual stimuli, light that is too bright or too dim, temperature that is too low or high, certain textures, smells, tastes, the position of our body and the inability to change it…
And, of course, it is natural that we face such things throughout our lives, and there is nothing wrong with that, but it is worth remembering that each time it happens, it constitutes a certain challenge for our body.
AROUSAL LEVELS
Throughout the day, our arousal levels change many times.
At one time we are sleepy, at another we are more active. Sometimes we don’t feel like doing anything, and other times, we feel like exploding…
In general, it’s perfectly normal that we repeatedly move from one state to another during the day. Our body simply knows how to deal with different situations and strives to restore balance each time something happens.
WELL, THEN… WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
Basically, under “normal” circumstances, for an adult human being… there is none. It’s natural that each of us, every day, is exposed to various stressors that disrupt our internal balance. Then, our well-developed mechanisms of self-regulation allow us to restore homeostasis and function normally.
That’s right… WELL-DEVELOPED self-regulatory mechanisms.
BUT WHAT IF OUR BABY HAS NOT YET HAD TIME TO DEVELOP THEM? AND HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT HE OR SHE ALREADY HAS THEM?
In fact, to restore balance, newborns and the youngest children need… an empathetic adult. A person who will notice their needs, respond to them and, even if they can’t comfort the baby right away, will just BE and let the little one know that they are important and their needs are not being ignored.
The child will eventually learn to regulate their arousal states on their own but, at the beginning, they need… a guide. 😊
WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT?
Dealing with stress uses up our energy resources, and if there is a lot of this stress or it is permanent, the body enters the so-called fight or flight mode. To put it simply, in the fight or flight mode all forces are mobilized to increase the chance of survival – then the work of other systems and organs can suffer. For example, the work of the immune system or the one responsible for cell repair and growth may deteriorate.
So, I don’t think I need to convince anyone that the ability to return to a state of balance is extremely important.
WHICH CHILDREN ARE MOST VULNERABLE TO OVERSTIMULATION?
Actually, all of us can experience excessive stress at times. However, the most vulnerable to it are children – especially the youngest ones. We must remember that the nervous systems of such babies are not yet fully ”mature”. They are not yet able to regulate the state of their arousal on their own or tell us that something is bothering them.
Of course, older children may also have difficulty with this – especially those more sensitive to stimuli. They also often can’t express or describe it to us accurately. Instead, they manifest it with their behavior – they cover their ears when it’s too loud, don’t answer questions, avoid eye contact, hide under the table, can’t sit at it for long or simply run away to another room… Such behavior may be considered rude by those around them but, very often, it is an expression that something exceeds their adaptive capacity. It is simply too much of a stressor.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE THAT YOUR BABY IS EXPERIENCING SUCH STRESS?
It is not always obvious. Children are very different, react very differently to particular stimuli, and sometimes what is fine for one child, becomes a strong stressor for another.
That is why, it is so important to calmly and carefully watch the behavior of your baby.
You can observe 2 types of reactions in the child.
FIGHT:
The first is a fight-type reaction. In response to a stressor, the baby gets restless or grumpy, cries, tenses up, has difficulty falling asleep despite being completely exhausted. In a word, the child struggles – but this struggle is connected with a very high energy expenditure and actually sets off a vicious cycle.
The baby is tired, but is unable to fall asleep because it also requires energy.
Once they manage to fall asleep, they sleep very uneasy, they are restless, their heart is beating faster, their breathing is quickened – this sleep is not the kind of sleep that restores energy, so when they wake up, it is again really easy for them to become over-stressed…
And prolonged exposure to one type of stress increases the baby’s sensitivity to other stressors. Then, it’s even easier for them to get upset.
FLIGHT:
In a flight-type reaction, the baby who is overwhelmed with stimuli “escapes”, i.e. turns their head away, avoids eye contact, becomes apathetic or falls asleep (but again – this is not a restful sleep but rather a form of escape from too much stimuli).
HOW TO COPE WITH IT?
Just recognizing that your child is overstimulated is a huge step forward. This is already the basis for us to act on it.
- First, make sure that all of your baby’s basic needs are met – that he or she is neither too cold nor too hot, that they are not hungry, they have a clean diaper, comfortable clothes and that the position they are in is comfortable as well.
If everything seems fine in that area, let’s look for other reasons why the baby might be over-stressed.
For example, if you see that during the holidays, your child becomes restless, try to answer the question: WHY is it happening at that particular time?
- If you suspect that the reason may be connected with excessive visual stimuli, go to another room, dim the lights, put your baby in a sling or a carrier, hold them facing you so that they can snuggle and isolate themselves from unpleasant stimuli. If your baby is lying in a bassinet, make sure the blinking lights don’t irritate their eyes.
- If you suspect that the reason is the noise, move to another room and cuddle with your baby. Lower your voice, hum their favorite songs… Maybe try feeding? Sucking and being carried in your arms might actually really calm your baby down. Remember that low tones can have a calming effect on the baby as well – take advantage of that.
- If you suspect that the reason is the smells, leave the kitchen and find a space where the smell is not so intense. Cuddle with your baby and make sure that the perfume you’re wearing is not too strong for your little one. Mom’s smell can be very calming for the baby, but if we wear perfume, we no longer smell the way we always do…
- Make sure you stay calm – it is crucial and necessary for calming down the baby. If the child senses stress from you, it can be much harder for them to stop stressing out as well. They will feel that something is wrong.
Realizing that a newborn is not manipulative in any way, that a two or three-year-old hidden under the table is not “bad parenting” but perhaps their way of dealing with the situation, can already be a big help…
Choose being responsive rather than being indifferent.
TO SUM UP:
- Put yourself in a positive mindset and know that your child’s “problematic” behavior may be an attempt to cope with some kind of stimuli.
- Don’t ignore such behavior. While a one-time or sporadic exposure to stressful stimuli is not something that could negatively affect your baby’s health, if it is prolonged, the body switches to the fight or flight mode, i.e. begins to save energy and “shuts down” systems that are not essential for survival.
- Be mindful of the type and intensity of stimuli you serve your baby on a daily basis. Remember that today’s fast-paced world provides our children with a whole lot of visual and audio stimuli but so little of those that stimulate THE FOUNDATIONAL SENSES which are essential for proper development.
That’s why, try to limit the amount of sounds and images that reach your child. Maybe the TV doesn’t have to be turned on for a large part of the day? Maybe you can listen to music or the radio through headphones? Maybe instead of blue light, you can use one that is more neutral or warm?
Keep in mind that any “background activity” as well as all the sounds and images of everyday life can be stressors for the child. And here you simply have to find balance because it’s not a matter of keeping your baby in a similar environment as it was in the belly, but rather about making this transition as smooth as possible.
- Remember about the foundational senses – touch, space and balance – as these are the senses through which your little one gathers information about the surrounding world and analyzes it but also tries to integrate them with the other senses. Also, let’s not forget about the importance of baby-friendly care and skin-to-skin contact.
- Routines might be life-savers for a lot of children – they help to organize the day and make it more predictable.
These are often very simple things but being attentive to them can help both you and your child get through these first months together.
The content herein is for informational purposes only and will not replace a visit to a physiotherapist or other specialist. If in doubt, please consult with a professional who can examine your baby in person. For the sake of your baby, I do not provide online advice.
For great ideas for spending time and playing with your baby, check out my E-book:
Sources:
- Shanker S., Barker T., Self-Reg: How To Help Your Child (And You) Break The Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life. Penguin Random House. Canada. 2016.
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